I have a sister but I never felt I had one. In fact she has a “manghod” which she really loves and it’s like she’s the real sister of her. She cares for her manghod a lot, she can even say the words I LOVE YOU to her manghod but not to me, even a hug or holding my hand when praying, she can never do it. Sometimes jealousy arouse in me, but who I am to be jealous, I’m just her real sister whom she doesn’t care about. Others noticed their closeness and someone asked my sister if I’m jealous about it and she answered “wala man lang na sa iya ah.” But did she ask me if I’m jealous? Is she the one who feels the pain of being jealous with that person she loves more than anyone in this world? She’s not the one who feels such thing. Ni hindi niya nga ako mapahiram ng ibang gamit niya ngunit ang iba napapahiram niya. Mas masasabi pa nga na mas pinapahalagahan niya pa ang ibang tao kaysa sa tunay niyang kapatid. Sometimes I think of myself being a KSP (kulang sa pansin) coz I’m looking for someone who I can call my sister, a sister who loves me and cares for me, a sister whom I can share my secrets and who can lend me an ear when I need someone to listen with what I am feeling. Were sisters but I don’t feel anything. Every time we fight for small things I think I’m always the looser because I cry, and sometimes I can’t speak back to her for some reasons. Maybe she’s elder than me and she has an advantage on that but she’s not always right. I’m the big looser I guess but I’m going to be strong right now and I will speak for myself if I am right.
